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McCain–You Hornball, You

By WILL C.      I’m not too political, but I understand John McCain. Let’s look at the facts: He’s an old guy at 72 years today (Happy Birthday, Grandpa!), but he’s got a young trophy wife (well… 54 years old, but in the right lighting she could pass for 24) so why not grab the young trophy VP candidate as well?! 

Sarah Palin is a name I probably haven’t even heard before this morning, but on first glance I know why McCain picked her. Sure, there’s the obvious assumption that he’s the maverick ‘independent’ and wasn’t going for the sure thing pick of Mitt Romney, so out of left field comes the 44 year old sexy librarian from Alaska. But also because she won second place in a Ms. Alaska beauty pageant! (two years before I was born, but alright whatever.) It works because she’s pretty much now being used to win over the Hillary voters because hey, girls stick together! At least that’s what Destiny’s Child has taught me. If I was a woman I don’t know if I’d be insulted that he’d be patronizing us thinking just because I’m a woman, I’d vote for a woman… But then again… she’s just such a darned cute soccer mom! Although she describes herself as a ‘hockey mom’ which is going to help her out in Canada, where the votes matter most.

But seriously, I think this ‘look’ appeal is under appreciated. Let’s be as realistic as possible for a second and recognize that part of Barack Obama’s appeal is his smooth voice, his trim and svelte look, and the fact that his skin color makes us proud to say we support him to prove that we’re not racist! …too far? What do most conservatives have to say against him? HE’S INEXPERIENCED! Well, that’s why I now believe John McCain is a smart cookie. He counters Obama with a young, inexperienced (I’m pretty sure she has virtually the same allotted time spent as a senator as Obama) who is a cougar with charm! And hey, she just showed she can give a good speech (watch out Barack!) Now democrats can’t point at her and say she’s inexperienced without feeling guilty.

Whether or not she’s going to help McCain win the election I don’t think is certain. But what is certain is McCain loves the fly honeys and he’s going to win the vote of all the creepy guys at bars who scope out young biddies because his running mate looks like a succubus.



this is great, will. so glad you are wit buntology.

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