There’s an old saying that if Mom’s not happy no one is.

I am truly not hard to please. If you ask my husband I believe he will agree. I am content to eat a salad for dinner and a day out is a trip to Victoria Secret to cash in my coupon for free underwear. Nevertheless, for the past year I have been whining daily about needing a new bed. 

The one we have was a gift from my in-laws who never scrimp on quality or price, so while it was once a great bed after 20 years it has become more a source of torture than rest. Twenty years is a long time considering three little girls crawled, jumped and snuggled there, cats and dogs stretched and groomed there and Rod and I engaged in wild, crazy love… okay, that part is a lie but you get the idea.

Once I came home to find my eldest, then 15, with her best friend lying in our bed watching TV. They were sick and my daughter could think of no better place to recover than Mom and Dad’s bed. How could I get angry at that? It was the place of healing, family discussions, and marathon movie watching. Clearly we had screwed up somehow (weren’t living rooms for that?) but it was too late. Our bed was the hot spot and not for reasons one would hope.

After 20 years, my daily back aches and a better-than-expected tax refund moved me to declare that for me to be happy we must get a new bed.

Large purchases are always made cautiously, however, once the actual decision was made things moved very quickly.

I knew our price limit so all that was needed was the perfect bed and a payment plan that offered a year with no interest. It’s a buyer’s market so I felt confident.

Off to the store and like Goldilocks we lay down on bed #1: not bad, bed #2: too hard, bed #3: just right! In the mean time the kid (he was about 22) did his upsell thing and we allowed him his fun. I am deadly rigid about my budget. If I say I can spend a certain amount, that is what I mean and not a dime more. I don’t care how amazing the bed is if I can’t afford it I am not getting it.

The entire sale took less than 30 minutes. We want THIS bed, we will pay THIS much and it must include delivery and removal of our old bed. The salesman hesitated and kept hinting he could try, get it close, and do his best to accommodate.

We sat to fill in the paperwork for my interest free payment plan and he hinted that it would be slightly higher than the price I was looking for. Time for a manager and the pretend back and forth to make sure  we knew this was a great deal they were giving us. Surprise! I was able to get it for the price I asked. When did beds get so expensive? I could rent a house at the Cape for a week for what this bed cost! Wow, I really could. That is depressing.

The day the bed was delivered my husband was visiting his mother on Long Island, so that first evening I got to sleep in it all alone.

There are no words.

Imagine sleeping on a cloud. Not what a cloud really is but what a cloud looks like it is. Remember being a child and looking up at the big, puffy cotton balls in the sky and wondering what it must be like to float on one of those? That is my new bed.

I have been late to work twice already because I simply can’t leave the thing. I try. My legs won’t cooperate.

When my husband came home from his Mom’s house he was curious and doubtful. How could a bed live up to my description? He could sleep sitting up in a chair and be happy most nights.

That afternoon he unpacked and promised me a special dinner.

I came home from work and there was dinner simmering on the stove. I searched the house and called for my husband. I walked all through the downstairs. He had to be close. He left food cooking!

I found him sound asleep upstairs on “the cloud.” It was 5:30 P.M.

Yeah, he likes the bed.