1. A great excuse to party (not like I should have to justify myself to you anyway)

Back when I was a college student, filled with charming naivety and a youthful glow, V- Day meant shirking your responsibilities (if you consider class, work, exercise and general hygiene a responsibility), rolling up a couple Js, and getting down on some solid day drinking via a box of wine. And even though Valentine’s Day falls on a Monday this year, I’m not going to let that stop me from gettin’ up and throwin’ down. Or getting down and throwing up. Either way- I’m partying tonight. Vulnerable male singles, here I come!

2. The guilt-free consumption of baked goods, chocolate, candy, etc.
It’s not even noon and I’ve already eaten three Hershey Kisses, five doughnut holes, a bag of Doritos and a slice of pizza. Luckily, I bought a new shirt for the special occasion- which I unknowingly purchased from the maternity section of Loehmann’s yesterday- so there’s plenty of room up in hurr. Annnnd make that six doughnut holes.