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Idiots & the FDA Ruin Four Loko for the Rest of us

Four Loko and other caffeinated alcoholic beverages will be off store shelves by December 13, after being issued letters of warning by the FDA- an action spurred by the rise in hospitalizations from consumption of the drinks.

Let’s give a big round of applause to both the FDA and all of the newb college freshman for providing us with yet another example of what happens when stupid people ruin the fun for everybody else.

This potential ban hits home particularly hard as I’ve recently become a Manhattanite which means I am poor and often looking for a cheap thrill. And at 24 ounces a can with a 12 percent alcohol content for only four bucks, Loko is the cheapest of thrills you can get. Well, that and playing a game of “Dead or Just Lifeless” by poking homeless people with sticks in the subway during your morning commute.