Sorry to deflate the Obama balloon (no I’m not) [by Will]
It’s obvious that anyone who doesn’t like Barack Obama doesn’t like him because they’re a racist.
Come on. Let me begin by saying by almost no means am I a McCain fan. If I ever diss Obama, everyone’s like “Yeah well thats because you LOVE John McCain… and George Bush!” Wrong. “Will, don’t you know how stupid McCain is?!” OK, I don’t disagree, stop trying to make me. McCain is certainly not a good candidate and he’s not a maverick. All he does is try to play off what will win him votes. Sarah Palin anyone? How about voting for the bailout because that was the popular thing to do at the time? He’s also anything but a conservative. John McCain sucks. But Barack Obama is worse.
You know how a lot of people hate religion solely because of religious people? They don’t hate God, but they hate God’s fanclub. Admittedly that’s a huge part of the reason I hate Barack Obama. Everyone loves him for all the wrong reasons. I’ve said before I’m not too political, and that’s true. But can’t help but feel like I’m well-informed when a typical stance for Obama that his fans give me usually sounds something like this: “He’s for the people man! It’s time for CHANGE. He’s such a great speaker and… dude, you’re racist.” Yes. Little did most of you know my middle name is Adolf. If we’re playing the race card here, let’s try and approach this fairly and look at a few things we KNOW about Obama.
The church Barack Obama attended, baptized his children in, and gave money to was led by Reverend Wright. Reverend Wright. Reverend Wright is a racist. If you don’t think so or aren’t sure, Google his name or type it into YouTube and watch any video and listen to anything he says. I won’t even quote him because I’m overly confident that if anyone does a search for him all you’ll find is hate speech. This is literally the equivalent of John McCain donating money to the KKK every week. It is. But I’ll play fair. Let’s give Obama the benefit of the doubt (the same way we’d naturally give McCain the benefit of the doubt if he were donating money to the KKK) and assume Obama ONLY attends that church for the donuts after the service is over. Hey I like Krispy Kreme and I’ll sit through a sermon of “God damn America!” to enjoy a handful. Let’s even give him that much and assume he’s not a racist… Why else should someone dislike him?
Well there’s really no reason to dislike Obama if you like Socialism. Obama and Socialism go together like Tuna, Noodles, and Surprise. Mmmm. I liked Robin Hood when I was a kid, but at some point I remember thinking, “Robin Hood is… kind of a bad guy.” Taking money from the wealthy and giving it directly to the poor, or using it on programs for the poor is actual Socialism. It’s taking money from people who worked for it and earned it, and giving it to people who didn’t. That’s one of the only things that is clear that Obama will be doing if he’s president. The worst part of that is, it actually directly effects the middle class as well. Let’s give an extreme example and say we start taxing the oil companies 300% what we tax them now. They’re greedy bastards anyway, they deserve it! All that happens now is gas prices go up 300% and they make the same money they’re used to and you either start walking to the liquor store OR fill up for nine dollars a gallon to drive yourself there to feed your habit (…Jackie) The oil companies could really care less. If you want to save time and cut out the middle man, you can not elect Barack Obama and instead every week find a homeless person and give them half of your paycheck. I find that it helps to really imagine yourself doing it. You can work 20 hours a week for yourself and your own interest, then proceed to work another 20 for someone you’ve never met and programs you don’t care about. (And don’t roll your eyes at me, I can actually see you doing it!) If you think it sounds extreme, it’s not. When you can finally retire at 85 years old, I won’t say I told you so. I’ll just redirect you to buntology.com to view that article from October 2008. By that time the Bunt girls will inevitably be living large off the buntology profits… but not really because 3/4 of their first million went to a government program authorized by Barack Obama to provide free hairspray to contemporary pet groomers to start styling their poodle’s with some zazzy new dews! But I think we can all agree upon the “end all” question. Is staring at Barack Obama’s handsome face for the next four years worth the cost? Hell. Yes. Where do I sign?