OK, Mom, don’t even read this, because I already know how upset you’ll get.

According to the Associated Press, Santino, a 31-year-old chimpanzee at the Furuvik Zoo in Stockholm, Sweden, has confirmed researchers’ theory that chimpanzees have the ability to plan ahead. So what’s Santino been up to? Is he making dates with chimp chicks? Saving his cash to buy extra bananas? Oh, wait …

The alpha male started building his weapons cache in the morning before the zoo opened, collecting rocks and knocking out disks from concrete boulders inside his enclosure. He waited until around midday before he unleashed a “hailstorm” of rocks against visitors.

“These observations convincingly show that our fellow apes do consider the future in a very complex way,” said the author of the report, Lund University Ph.D. student Mathias Osvath. “It implies that they have a highly developed consciousness, including lifelike mental simulations of potential events.”

Scientists are pleased that Santino is proving their theory – chimpanzees and other primates, including orangutans and bobonos, have a highly complex consciousness, just like humans. They’ve been studying Santino and his group of chimps at the Furuvik Zoo for more than 10 years and released their findings recently in the science journal Current Biology.

So that’s great. I’m excited about all these scientific advances or whatever, but as a person, I’m disturbed. This poor creature, who exists peaceably with his fellow inmates – err, I mean captives? Zoo residents? – has a consciousness high enough to plan an attack on people. But why oh why would the chimp feel compelled to attack people?

Osvath said the chimpanzee had also been observed tapping on concrete boulders in the park to identify weak parts and then knocking out a piece. If it was too big for throwing, he broke it into smaller pieces, before adding them to his arsenal.

“It is very special that he first realizes that he can make these and then plans on how to use them,” Osvath said. “This is more complex than what has been showed before.”

For a while, zoo keepers tried locking Santino up in the morning so he couldn’t collect ammunition for his assaults, but he remained aggressive. They ultimately castrated him in autumn of last year.

“It is normal behavior for alpha males to want to influence their surroundings … It is extremely frustrating for him that there are people out of his reach who are pointing at him and laughing,” Osvath said. “It cannot be good to be so furious all the time.”

Poor baby! Oh, poor baby. I won’t lie, chimpanzees, orangutans, monkeys are the one animal I don’t like. Not to generalize, but after seeing the trailer for “Outbreak,” I’ve always been convinced they are malevolent and have weird viruses. But I’m practically paralyzed with heartbreak for poor Santino and ANY caged creature.

Also, we’re finding that chimpanzees are not just logical, but crafty. And we are pointing and laughing like a total sixth-grade bully. … Great idea.

Here are some cute baby animals.