As anybody not living underneath a rock probably knows, the entire East Coast got raped and pillaged by Hurricane Sandy last night. The record breaking “super storm” left eight million without power, and caused an estimated 20 billion dollars in damage. As a dweller of the NYC Metropolitan area, where I live and the surrounding boroughs got it bad (worse than this guy), and are now reeling from the aftermath.

I normally don’t take much stock in the news. In my mind, it’s mostly fear mongering and fabricated stories meant to scare and depress people. #masscommunicationsmajor. 

So as the hurricane got underway around 1 p.m. yesterday afternoon, perhaps it wasn’t in my best interest to take a gravity bong rip and finally flick on the boob tube. I felt my knees go weak and my insides melt with fear as I heard the weathermen talking about the impending destruction that Sandy would bring: “If you think this is it, you ain’t seen nothing yet,” Mr. G., respected Pix 4 weatherman, told us, as the storm began reeking havoc before it had even touched down in New Jersey.

I called my mom, taped my windows, took a nap and hoped for the best. What else can you do, really? When I awoke, still equipped with electricity, water, internet and (basic) cable, I finally chilled out. OK, who am I kidding, the weed had worn off and my panic attack subsided. Lucky for me and The Roomie, we were safe and sound in our Astoria apartment where we spent the evening watching horror movies and eating rice that we had pre-cooked in preparation for the worst.

At a glance, here’s some of the f*cked up stuff that happened in the area:

-300 patients (including babies in intensive care) were evacuated from NYU hospital
-whole facade of a building in Chelsea ripped off
-100s of homes in Queens were burned to the ground
-floor of the New Stock Exchange flooded
-subways flooded, won’t be in service for around five days
-FDR highway, LaGuardia Airport, JFK Airport all flooded
-Atlantic City is basically gone, Jersey Shore is basically gone
-Power in lower Manhattan shut off by ConEdison to avoid further damage
-Parts of Brooklyn, East Village, Battery Park, Upper East Side… flooded.
(Here’s an actual news clip recapping what happened. Much more legitimate than this article.)

What’s really creepy is that I used to live on the Upper East Side, on first avenue, in a shitty apartment with holes in it (that’s how the mice got through). If I were still living there I have little doubt that I would’ve been made to evacuate, or would be swimming around my bedroom with Gus Gus and Ratatouille making a raft out of old toilet paper rolls. If that visual isn’t gross enough for you, here’s an article discussing how the entire NYC rat population have been displaced, and you can find them flushed out from the subways onto the streets.

Right now there are still tons of people without power and/or sitting in shelters in the NYC/NJ area, and the death toll from hurricane-related accidents (throughout the East Coast, not just NYC) is around 40. I’m extremely grateful to be living in an area that remained relatively unharmed by the winds and flooding, and never lost electricity or internet… because that would’ve been really freakin’ boring. Hmm, so I guess not making enough money to live in lower Manhattan pays off once in a while. Stay strong, East Coasters!