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Fun in the Sun (FITS pt. II)

On the third day we went into Provincetown to a bar called “The Old Colony Tap.” The bar was way too dark but it had strong drinks and a dreaded bartender who allegedly used to run drugs from Truro to North Adams. Small world. We all got Long Island Iced Teas and it took me the entire time we were at the bar to drink it. So about an hour and a half.

After I finished the Long Island and we left the bar I started to get horrible stabbing pains in my stomach. My family has a history of gastrointestinal issues. I knew the only thing to do was lay flat on my back, but since I couldn’t quite do that in P-town the next best thing was to get a bucket of french fries and lean against a storefront on the sidewalk. The rest of the posse was inside a sex shop looking at dildos and cock rings.

I was tired and pained and ready to call it a night and after their romp in the sex store my party agreed. Oh, can I just say that on the

shuttle ride into town there was this huge Mastiff (kind of redundant) in the back of the bus. The owners were going on about what a wonderful dog it was and then he tried to bite Jackie. Awkwardd. I swear I saw them all night long with this fucking dog and I saw them waiting for the bus to take everyone back to Truro at the end of the night. I blame them for my sisters and I not having enough room to sit and being forced to wait another 30 minutes for the next bus.

I guess I should mention that the shuttle stop was right outside of the bathrooms and it smelled terrible and we sang “Sewage, sewage, when will this smell disappear?” to the tune of “Angie” by the Rolling Stones. And I guess I should mention that the bathroom matron was wearing a cowboy hat and was a total cunt and was making everybody speed-pee and yelled at Jackie and Alicia for talking before they wiped. Eventually we all got on the shuttle and headed back to our respective casas.

Tuesday was a pretty chill day. The most notable thing about it was the sweet bookstore Alicia and I went to in P-town, “Tim’s Used Books.” There I found like, five Bukowski books and Alicia found the Star Wars book “A New Hope Ep. 4” or something. I bought “Factotum” and “Betting on the Muse.” I read selections from the latter while me, mom, Alicia and Jackie ate an expensive-ass lunch at WayDowntown. Expensive but delicious. I got a UFO on tap. Mmm.

As you can see from the pics, I was dancing. This means that I was more than slightly intoxicated. I also tried to make everybody on the dance floor form a congo line–twice. This means that I was

very intoxicated. I want to write more about what a fun night it was but like I said, mama was drunky and the details are fuzzy.

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