1. A great excuse to party (not like I should have to justify myself to you anyway)
Back when I was a college student, filled with charming naivety and a youthful glow, V- Day meant shirking your responsibilities (if you consider class, work, exercise and general hygiene a responsibility), rolling up a couple Js, and getting down on some solid day drinking via a box of wine. And even though Valentine’s Day falls on a Monday this year, I’m not going to let that stop me from gettin’ up and throwin’ down. Or getting down and throwing up. Either way- I’m partying tonight. Vulnerable male singles, here I come!
2. The guilt-free consumption of baked goods, chocolate, candy, etc.
It’s not even noon and I’ve already eaten three Hershey Kisses, five doughnut holes, a bag of Doritos and a slice of pizza. Luckily, I bought a new shirt for the special occasion- which I unknowingly purchased from the maternity section of Loehmann’s yesterday- so there’s plenty of room up in hurr. Annnnd make that six doughnut holes.
3. The sending of E-cards
Who doesn’t love a good E-card sitting in their inbox first thing Valentine’s Day morning? Even more fun than receiving said cards is selecting and customizing them to send to others! They’re the perfect way to say hello to your loved ones without paying for postage, or, anything for that matter. Sometimes I send E-cards just for the hell of it. I remember once when I sent an ex-boyfriend one while intoxicated. You know, just a kind of 3 a.m. “hey, hope all is well” type thing. A major pain point in our relationship was the fact that I would send him similar cutesy emails and E-cards without any type of feedback, so it came as no surprise when I got the automated “[Name hidden to protect the douchey] has viewed your E-card!” yet received no response from him. Oh, Blue Mountain Greetings, you slay me.
4. Free love, man.
Whether you’re going on a date, hanging with friends, or sitting alone in your apartment watching Ace of Cakes on the Food Network, V-Day gives you the perfect excuse to let your guard down, turn to the person-or cat- to your right and say, “I love you.” It’s the one day in the year devoted to spreading the good warm vibes and giving sloppy wet kisses to strangers. Hell, I might even give a dollar to some of the homeless that riddle the streets on my walk to work. Better yet, I’ll hand them a bundle of candy hearts and tell them that those can be used as currency for riding the subway that day.
Hmm, I guess I can only think of four reasons why Valentine’s Day kicks ass. Oh well, that’s still four more points of awesomeness than a regular day- especially a Monday. Now get off of this website and do all of the four things listed above. Specifically the sloppy kissing.
Happy Valentine’s Day from Buntology! We love you!